Recommended Resources

Books

Resilient Grieving – Dr Lucy Hone

Res Grieving

I cannot recommend this book highly enough.  There are very few books about resilient grieving.  Most of us are familiar with the stages of grief but this is a very passive model.  It seems we are expected to sit and wait out all the stages of grief until we get spat out the other side.  Then we can pick up the pieces of our lives and carry on.  When Dr Lucy Hone’s daughter Abi was killed in a road accident she used all the skills and knowledge she had in positive psychology and applied it to the grief process.  This allowed her to continue to parent her two boys, maintain a strong relationship with her husband and friends, and take an active role in her experience.  There are so many practical strategies in the book which I know would be invaluable to those going through grief.  Lucy is very authentic and grounded.  She has so much wisdom to share.  I have recently bought this book for a friend who lost her son – it felt good to be able offer something of practical support at this time.

My interview with Lucy will go live tomorrow (Friday the 7th of April) but in the meantime check out this podcast interview by Larry Weeks.  His podcast is called Bounce and it is fantastic.

Podcast Interview with Dr Lucy Hone

One Year Wiser – An Illustrated Guide to Mindfulness – Mike Medaglia

One Year

If I had to choose one book to give to someone who was starting to explore mindfulness this would be the one.  It is a graphic novel and it beautifully illustrates all the main aspects of the practice.  It includes exercises to complete at the end of every chapter.  Ultimately it feels like a very friendly, easy guide.  I am going to give it my highest accolade which is to purchase it for my collection and perhaps an extra copy to share with friends.  Go on, hit me up.  🙂

Jacqueline and the Beanstalk – Susan D Sweet and Brenda S Miles

jackie

This is a lovely picture book all about facing big fears.  Jacqueline is a princess who is protected by her royal guards.  Everywhere she goes it is “shields up!”  But those guards are stopping Jacqueline from having fun.  One day she finds a beanstalk and despite warnings she climbs up to meet the giant.  Beautiful illustrations and a great story to help children understand and face their fears.  There is a caregiver guide at the back of the book with lots of ways adults can help children understand fear and anxiety and ways they can manage it.

When My Worries Get Too Big – Kari Dunn Buron

worries

This book teaches relaxation techniques for children who experience anxiety.  The strategies are based on cognitive behavioural management.  Through the pages children are able to explore the different things that cause them anxiety and why.  Then they are given some great strategies to calm themselves.  I particularly like the illustrated stress scale and calming sequence.  This would be equally helpful for adults.  There are also evidence-based strategies outlined for caregivers to support highly anxious children.

How To Be Human: The Manual – Ruby Wax

Ruby Wax

This is an excellent book.  It is written with the Ruby’s irreverent sense of humour but combines this with the wisdom of a Buddhist monk and the knowledge of a neuroscientist.  She has written a previous book about mindfulness which is excellent but this book dives deeper into some of the theory behind it.  She covers evolution, thoughts, emotions, the body, compassion, relationships, sex (warning: a very short chapter – she lies about this), kids, addiction and the future.  As well as a great deal of imparted factual knowledge from three different and complimentary perspectives there is also a huge section containing a number of mindfulness exercises.

I bought this book on Kindle but I think it would be better to have a physical copy.  With all the exercises you are going to want to flick back and forward, write your own notes in the margins, and basically make the book your own in ways you just can’t with an electronic version.  I know you can do all this using a Kindle but trust me – you want to pull out your felt tips pens for this one.

With all the books published on mindfulness why would you buy this one?  Well, for starters, you need more than one book on mindfulness.  Everyone approaches the subject from a slightly different angle and not everyone’s approach will appeal to you.  By reading widely you can create your own personal practice which works for you.  I would also argue that with this book you almost get three books in one; as the three participants give very different ways of looking at mindfulness.  I also love Ruby Wax and her sense of humour.  She is very authentic and makes me feel okay about all my own personal baggage.  Ruby has a truckload.

I can not recommend this book highly enough.  A very good place to start if you are beginning a mindfulness practice but also a great place to explore the subject deeper if you already meditate regularly.  The tone is light and deeply human – just as the title implies.  It is okay to be mindful and have a chuckle along the way.  Enjoy!

You Tube Book Promotion

Deep Work – Cal Newport

Deep Work

This book can be summed up perfectly by the first sentence on the back cover.  “One of the most valuable skills in our economy is becoming increasingly rare.”  The deep work referred to in this book is the ability to focus without distraction on cognitively demanding tasks.  “Without distraction!” I hear you lament.  “How in earth can we achieve this lofty goal in today’s highly connected age?”  I am pleased to say that not only does Cal Newport convince us of the need for deep work, he also does a great job of showing us ways that we can make space for it in our lives.  There are extremely practical guidelines for achieving this state and massively improving the quality and depth of our work.  I honestly believe this book, if applied diligently, can be life changing.  I am also a true believer now in the need for all of us to understand and learn how to implement deep work if we are going to thrive in today’s increasingly competitive and relentlessly changing workplaces.

The Headspace Guide to Meditation & Mindfulness – Andy Puddicombe

Headspace

I use Andy’s Headspace app for my daily guided meditation.  The meditations are fine but it is the introductions and the explanation of difficult concepts which I value the most.  He talks about meditating being like sitting beside a busy road and watching the cars go past.  The cars are our thoughts.  Rather than getting caught up chasing the cars down the road, or jumping into the traffic and trying to make them stop, we just sit there and watch them go by.  Sounds easy doesn’t it.  Another explanation is that our mind is like the sky and the clouds are like our thoughts.  Even though at times it feels like our mind is full of thoughts – we need to remember that above the clouds the sky is always blue.  In the same way once our thoughts clear away we have an endlessly calm clear mind.  All we need to do is relax and trust and slowly the clouds start to clear away.

I know it is not really as easy as all that but it doesn’t have to be complicated either.  The concept is simple; the application takes practice.

Another thing I love about Andy’s teaching of meditation is his emphasis of the need to apply meditation in our daily lives.  This is what is now known as mindfulness.  But it is also about taking opportunities for mini meditations during our every day lives.  I use an excellent meditation he recommends for stress.  During the day when I feel the pressure building I can slip back into this meditation state very quickly using the visualisation tools he teaches.  I have found that technique alone extremely valuable.  By releasing tension throughout the day I find myself at the end of the day without tight shoulders or a throbbing headache.  It really does work.

I would recommend this book for people who want an everyday form of meditation.  Even though Andy was at one time a Buddhist monk this is not a religious book and it is not an earnest guide to sitting in meditation for hours every day.  I like it because it handles the subject lightly but deftly and it removes the mysticism from the subject.  Meditation can be an amazing path to deep insight but this form of meditation is more of a tool to manage the daily stress of everyday life.  It is a great introduction to the subject and a stepping stone to deeper study if desired.

 

Big Magic – Elizabeth Gilbert

Big Magib2

I have a love / hate relationship with Elizabeth Gilbert.  No, that’s too harsh; I have some concerns about Eat, Pray, Love.  It wasn’t my favourite book or movie.  I believe we essentially disagree on the mechanics of love.  I think Elizabeth believes in soul mates and therefore you are entirely justified in leaving your current partner if your soul mate happens to appear in your life.  In fact you just about owe it to the universe.  I believe we choose to love someone and once we have made that commitment we should try our best to honour that commitment.  Being in a relationship does not mean that we won’t potentially be attracted to other people but we don’t have to act on those feelings.  So the funny thing is that Elizabeth would be considered a romantic (believing in soul mates) and yet it causes her to be a serial monogamist.  I, on the other hand, have a more moralistic belief about love but it allows me to stay in a stable and happy relationship long term.  I should also point out that there is nothing inherently wrong with serial monogamy; apart from the fact that there is usually a lot of pain caused any time we break a relationship (especially if the decision is one sided and made to form a new attachment).  So this is a long rambling caveat to say that I do not worship at the altar of Elizabeth Gilbert and therefore this review is entirely impartial.  🙂

If you are looking for one book to give you the courage to pursue a creative life I believe this is it.  The conversational style of writing allows Elizabeth’s natural personality to flow through.  And she has a great personality – she is strong, feisty, authentic and not afraid to be vulnerable.  I love how she dismantles the idea of the tortured artist; unable to create great art unless also battling the demons of drink, drugs or a disordered mind.  The fact that many artists are afflicted in some way does not mean that creativity has to be extracted from our tortured bodies one bloody step at a time.

If you want to tap into your creative side and you feel blocked in some way – this book will give you the kick in the pants to get you going.

***

I had reason to dip into this book again today – it contains so much wise advice for those of us on a creative journey.  This section really spoke to me:

“The results of my work don’t have much to do with me.  I can only be in charge of producing the work itself.  That’s a hard enough job…  Also, I realise it would be unreasonable and immature of me to expect that I should be allowed to have a voice of expression, but other people should not…  Recognising this reality – that the reaction doesn’t belong to you – is the only sane way to create… If people attack you…just smile sweetly and suggest they go make their own f***ing art.”

App Reviews

SMILING MIND

Smiling Mind

Oh no, I’ve found yet another mindfulness app and it is also very good!  I think it might be time to explore and compare my three current apps and see how they differ and where they are the same.

Mindspace was the first app I added to my phone.  I find it an excellent way to understand meditation (lots of great animated guides), I like Andy’s British accent (shallow I know), and it helped me greatly to develop a regular mindfulness practice.  It also helped me to take mindfulness into my every day life rather than just using it on the mat for 10 minutes a day.

Stop, Breathe and Think includes the concept of checking in with how you are and gives you a list of choices to help you improve your mood.  I don’t love the voice as much as Andy’s and this seems to have a big effect on me as their voice essentially becomes my inner voice.  Much the same way that an in car navigation voice can decide whether you have a pleasant journey or spend much of swearing – the voice seems to be a big link as to whether you can quickly fall into a meditative state.

Then I found Smiling Mind.  An Australia accent but a nice one.  This app also checks in with how you are but it also graphs your mood before and after meditation and over time.  I really like the choices of mindfulness exercises too.  This is currently my favourite go-to app but time will tell if it is more to do with its freshness or whether it will be a lasting relationship.  There is probably nothing wrong with using a couple of apps if they meet your needs in different ways.  Much the same way as I recommend reading more than one book on the subject; trying out more than one app deepens and enhances your understanding rather than detracts from it.

The most important thing is that the app supports your practice and enhances your life in a positive way.  And of course the dulcet tones of the narrator lull you into a state of transcendence.

STOP, BREATHE AND THINK

stop-breath-think

This app was recommended to me by my counselor and I love it.  My first love when it comes to meditation will always be Headspace.  Andy will always be the voice inside my head when I meditate but this app is brilliant.  You start by going within and finding out how you are feeling physically and emotionally.  The app will then recommend a menu of meditation, mindfulness and breathing sessions based on your current state.  You can also pick from a menu of different meditations if you want to focus on a particular area.  I’m going to plug myself in and take a mindful walk this morning.  My counselor recommended the three minute meditations in an emotional emergency.  You can go to the bathroom, put the toilet seat down, plug in your headphones and take a quick reset.  It is like rescue remedy.  She also recommended a dose of three sessions a day for 10 days; much like a course of antibiotics.  I love Headspace because it explains meditation in a way that is very accessible but this app is great because of the variety of different approaches to achieving equanimity.  In an ideal world you would have both apps on your phone.  And like all the best things in life – it is free.

You Tube Introduction

Podcasts

ON BEING WITH KRISTA TIPPETT

Krista

This is an award winning show and it is obvious to see why.  Krista is such an insightful interviewer.  She really draws her guests out and ends up having the kind of deep meaningful discussions that give both comfort and inspiration.

Her most recent interview is with Brene Brown who is one of my favourite authors.  I love the title of the episode – Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart.  Check out the interview here podcast

 

TED RADIO HOUR

Link to Podcast

ted_radio_hour_logo

I love this podcast – in fact I think this might have been my introduction to podcasting.  Here you have all the benefits of the highlights of TED Talks with all the benefits of podcasting.  This means you can get access to uplifting, interesting content, while fitting it around your other daily activities.  Obviously TED is highly professional and well resourced so the quality is excellent.

The most recent show of 2 February 2018 is all about slowing down.  It starts with a fascinating introduction to Norwegian “Slow TV”.  If you haven’t heard about it yet I highly recommend you tune in.

If you are looking for something uplifting but light then you can’t go wrong with this one.  Each show contains snippets from other TED talks so there is lots of variety and links to further interest which I love and I think you will too.

The theme also ties in well to my latest book review.  You’ll find it here Books

UNDER THE SKIN – RUSSELL BRAND

Under the Skin – Russell Brand

Russell Brand

I honestly believe Russell Brand is a genius.  I know he is not everyone’s cup of tea but he produces a very good Podcast.  The recording quality alone is an inspiration but I know that isn’t why you’ll want to listen.  His latest episode (as of publication) is an interview with Andy Puddicombe of the smartphone meditation and mindfulness app Headspace.  Russell dives deep into important topics – one of his episodes it entitled “God, The Universe, and Meaning.”  You may not agree with everything he has to say but I recommend him when you have a free hour, your mind is reasonably fresh and you want to get right down into the meaning of life.

Online Courses

The Path of an Athlete – Lisa Tamati

runninghotbook

Please don’t fall about laughing if you don’t think I’m not athletic enough for this course.  The point is we need to think like an athlete.  Many of the techniques used in high performance sport are applicable in all areas of our lives.  Although Lisa is famous for running ultra-marathons and offers running coaching, this course is purely about developing the right mindset.  It is an invaluable course if you are at the point in your life when you realise the “softly softly” approach isn’t working for you.  Watching documentaries of Lisa facing massive challenges in her running made me want to reach further and do something that scares me a little.  Don’t be surprised if the next you hear I am somewhere in the middle of the Gobi Desert running my little heart out.  Actually do be surprised because even though Lisa prides herself of being an ulta-marathon “pusher” I am more likely to be seen trotting safely around the confines of my neighbourhood.  I did pick up lots of great advice and the fantastic thing is there is only one payment and access for life.  I’m about to go through and review the course at a more leisurely pace.  I raced through the course as I wanted to complete it in time for my podcast interview with Lisa last Friday.  Look for her upcoming interview in May – you are going to love it!

Check out the course here.

Running

How Media Got Social – Curtin University

Curtin

Another online platform for university level learning is Edex.  Like Coursera, you can find programmes hosted by top universities from all around the world.  I took this course via Curtin University because I find myself working in a completely online world.  I also find myself inhabiting and using social media as my predominant form of communication.  I loved this course.  It gave a very brief introduction to the history of “The Web” and then went on to talk about the different social media platforms.  It was amusing to read about the year 2000 and have it discussed as distant history.  The Internet is so young!  I would recommend this course to anyone who spends a lot of time online and would like to explore a bit more deeply the sociology behind this pervasive technology.

You Tube Introduction

Link to Enrollment

The Resilience Institute

Sven

I have just completed an online course led by Sven Hansen.  I discovered their website because it was one of the most popular websites about resilience according to Google.  It was certainly a very thorough course – it took me a little over a week to complete.  I feel that I got a good grounding in the basic requirements in order to become more resilient.  Topics covered included nutrition, sleep, exercise etc.  It also talks about when you are very low down the scale and what to do about it.  At the end of the course it also covered peak performance and “flow” states.  It is very clear that Sven knows what he is talking about.  He is obviously very knowledgeable and experienced.  At times his delivery seemed a little stern.  It was all very earnest and serious; I prefer some lightheartedness when I am learning.  I had some difficultly navigating the course and my question about this went unanswered.  The course cost about $150 NZ and I think I obtained value for money.  Saying that I have just downloaded Sven’s ebook on the same subject for about $3 US so it will be interesting to see if it covers everything in the course.  If it does that would obviously be your best option.  I’ll read the book over the next week or so and post a book review so you can compare the two.

The Resilience Institute Website

De-Mystifying Mindfulness – You Tube Introduction

Mindfulness

This is a fantastic introductory course to Mindfulness.  It is both an in depth discussion of the origins of Mindfulness as well as providing a experimental laboratory where you can practice and reflect upon different forms of meditation.  If you are the sort of person who likes to consider things deeply before diving in – this is the course for you.  It may also answer concerns you may have about whether this is a religious or a scientific practice.  However if you are the sort of person who likes to dive in quickly then I recommend something like the Headspace app.  You could always use Headspace as an introduction and a practical guide and then take this course if or when your interest deepens.  I have taken many course via the Coursera platform since its inception and I love it.

De-Mystifying Mindfulness – Course Page